Dear Kemi,

Whilst it’s been 5 years since you started your period, I thought it would be important to let you know how crucial it is that you track it… When I say track it, I’m talking about meticulously recording the start and end dates of your cycle. The reason for this is that it will help you see the pattern your period has and, more importantly, when you do decide to have children, it’ll help identify ovulation days etc. I’ll talk to you more about ovulation another time and what it means for you.

I love that fact that you still play sports and are studying Performance Studies… I can only imagine how demanding Sociology is with having to remember dates and theories etc but, the most important thing is that you don’t allow it to stress you out! Easier said than done right?

Kemi, I’m going to be honest here… you have zero patience! Not everything will happen when you want and sometimes, you’ve got to understand that things may take longer than expected or may not happen the way you’d like. Sometimes we focus too much energy and time on things that will eventually have a negative impact on our lives – things that can ultimately affect our health too.

I also want to give you a little advice on the issue, you know, the situation with that boy… you know, the one you like but he “kinda likes you” but “kinda likes your friend more…” yes him. The one that’s making you cry endlessly and think you’re ugly- the one you are spending way too much time thinking about and giving yourself stress spots… I think you get the picture- he’s not worth it! And, to be honest, you have plenty of time in the future to meet time-worthy people.

So enough about the boy, I’m writing you this letter to tell you some important information about your body. You’ve probably noticed that your weight keeps fluctuating… the increased body hair may be upsetting you as shaving your legs twice a week just isn’t enough… I’ll try not to go into the facial hair as I know it’s making you feel extremely self-conscious…

Your family and friends make jokes about your mood swings and your dad tells you that you should be studying law because you are so argumentative. Also, when you’re upset, angry, feeling low or about to start your period, the two king size Twix chocolate bars you like to eat are not healthy! Do you realise how much sugar they contain? I know, I know, there are times when you just want a “sugar fix”but, each time you give in and binge eat, remember type 2 diabetes and your daily struggle with the image you see of yourself in the mirror. Gosh I wish you would see how beautiful you really are!

Kemi babes, don’t worry about the spots… they will eventually clear up. Sometimes, when we worry about things and try a range of different products within a close time period, it doesn’t help. The GP has prescribed you a few things to use on your face and even offered you the pill… why don’t we try some more water drinking? You drink plenty of juices but water is the best source of flushing out body toxins. Hey, it can even help with your weight!

Lastly, because I’m conscious that you’ve got studying to do, don’t worry about your 34A breasts- they’re just perfect for you. We’ll talk more about your breasts another time because you’ll need to know how to check those too!

Go ahead and book that appointment with the GP and tell him your concerns… it doesn’t matter if he thinks you’re “coming back for the same reasons.” We both know that the painful periods are not normal -even if he (doctor) says it will improve with age. You can’t keep taking days off school because of the amount of pain you’re in and, you also can’t keep taking Co-codamol or Tramadol… You’re not too young to know and understand your body – listen to it and keep pushing for answers even if they think you’re annoying. Don’t let anyone fob you off due to your young age.

Love you,

33 year old Kemi

💛